Doctor Seuss Meets the Indianapolis Homelessness Industry-Part 1, The Horizon House (Humor)

“Dr. Seuss Meets the Indianapolis, Indiana, Homelessness Industry System”, written 8 June 2013 by Michael-Tyrrannis I Saurranno-Schwing copyright 2013

 

Prologue: Mikey-Me is homeless in the streets of the big city of Indianapolis. He needs a service, some medication. The Mega-Hospital will not see him through any clinics. Mega-Hospital will see him through the Emergency Room, but Mikey-Me believes, and the Doctors know, that this is not an emergency. He needs a referral to the appropriate agency and a voucher to pay for the medicine. While wandering the streets not sure what to do or where to go, Mikey-Me, much to his surprise, runs into Horton the Elephant, that SAME Horton whom Dr. Seuss said heard a Who! Let’s tune into their conversation: [Chapter 1: Mikey-Me needs a case manager and a referral] Mikey-Me singing his song: “Oh me! Oh my! Whatever shall I do! I need some medication but cannot afford to see a Doctor to write the prescription. But when the Doctor writes the prescription, I no longer have the money to pay for it. Oh me! Oh My! Whatever shall I do! Other homeless people have told me I need a referral to a place. Then I need to find a case manager who will take my case. And they can write me a voucher for when I get there and the medication will then be free. But where do I get a referral for me?” Just then an elephant walking down Washington Street interrupted Mikey-Me talking to himself and asked, “Kind Sir, do you know where the Zoo is? I seem to have gotten lost, where is this?” Mikey-Me has never seen a talking elephant. “Where do you come from and what is your name?” “My name is Horton and I came from the Indianapolis Zoo and have gotten lost on my walk and need to get back in time for feeding.” “The same Horton who hears the Whos? I can help you if that’s all you are needing for I know where the Indianapolis Zoo is from which you came.” “The one and the same Horton. Thank you kind sir, how can I ever thank you?” “Do you know where a homeless person can find a case manager?” Mikey-Me asked. But Horton has never heard of case managers, he heard the Who have them there. However, says the Who that Horton hears, “Without a referral, you won’t get anywhere!” Just then walked up Horton’s friend Sam I Am out of nowhere. “What’s taking so long, Horton? How long does it take to get some air?” “I did get lost and at what cost! I ran into this kind sir who needs something. But I don’t understand what he needs as I have never heard of this thing.” Sam I Am asked Mikey-Me, “Just what is it you need kind sir, this unheard of thing?” Mikey-Me: “It’s not an unheard of thing, just a rare thing which I cannot find without a better clue. I need a case manager for homeless persons who can write me a referral and a voucher that is new.” Sam I Am the answer knew: “If you need a case manager and a referral Mikey-Me, then you should go to the Horizon House.” “Where is this Horizon House that with a referal my problem will douse?” 1033 East Washington Street with phone number 317-423-8909. “Then there I’ll go, thank you Sam I Am. I must go now before my condition makes me whine.” “But wait, kind sir, you cannot go without a plan. And also you did not tell me if you wanted green eggs and ham.” “I thank you for your hospitality, please help me make a plan if you can. But I must say: ‘No sir, Sam I Am, I do not want green eggs and ham!'” “Okay then. From downtown take the Bus 8. The Fox in Socks will help you navigate. But hurry please and do not stand and wait. The Horizon House cannot help you if you’re late!” [Chapter 2: The Horizon House. Mikey-Me arrives at the Horizon House with the Fox in Socks as his guide.] “I have never been on a bus that gave me such a ride, riding on a bus in this city has made me terrified! Thank you Fox in Socks for being such a good guide. I never would have found it without going crazy. It’s good to have friends in my time of need who are not lazy! Now what must I do to get the help that I need?” “You must go in the back door to check in at the desk on the way, then sign up for orientation, hopefully later that same day. At the orientation you will be given papers you must sign, do not add nor cross out anything, just sign on the dotted line. Another paper you must take to get it verified, that homeless you truly are, for Horizon House to be satisfied. If this paper is not returned before the proper day, you will have to start all over, there is no other way. Then you will need to meet with a case manager or two, with whom you’ll make a plan to address your homelessness, and get those referrals too!’ “Oh my dear Fox in Socks that sounds so complicated. How do I navigate all that without being intoxicated? I have never heard anything so against me weighted. Is there any simpler way in which this all could be stated?” “Probably not. However, I will now turn you over to the Cat in the Hat. The Cat in the Hat will graciously explain the homeless person’s viewpoint of all that.” Says the Cat In the Hat: “It really is not that complicated Mikey-Me. Just take hold of my hand and go with me! Just follow the directions you are told, although the list of things to do will soon get old. Jumping through the hoop that is blue, on the proper day, even one that is brown, if you have an appointment, it is true, then this will take you down the road that goes to Midtown. Jumping through the hoop that is green, rolling in a somersault past the beam, walking down the hallway that is clean, this will bring you to the Eskenazi Medical Team! Jumping through the hoop that is yellow, and turning in your verification in a timely manner, will prove that you are a sincere fellow, but make sure it is the right equinox by your calendar planner! But never, ever, ever, under any circumstances, not even during an eclipse do take the chances, of jumping through the hoop that is red, in the second month after the vernal equinox, on a Thursday, for says the Fox in Socks: “They will write you off as a failure and treat you as if you’re dead!” [End of first installment. later installments will explain Midtown, Medical access, Homeless Initiative Project and the Coalition for Homelessness Intervention and Prevention]